专题02
描写人物的英语作文如何巧妙构思读后续写的故事情节
之高分技巧、高分手段和易错点
❖故事构思
读后续写能否拿否拿高分某种程度上取决于故事情节的构思。这就要求考生做到学会分析情节。分析故事情节一般从故事六要素着手，即who, when, where, what, why, how。然后根据故事情节发展线和主人公的情感变化来续写文章。简化为：
第一步：分析段首句。根据其关键信息，提出问题，预设故事情节发展走向。
第二步：关注段首句和续写部分的衔接。思考续写第一段和第二段的衔接。根据情节发展构思末句，通过收尾呼应，达到文章升华，体现故事主题。
❖高分技巧
❖高分手段
读后续写的故事情节设计中，矛盾冲突和转折总体上应当体现清代袁枚《随园诗话》中“文似看山不喜平”的意思，即写文章好比观赏山峰那样，喜欢起伏，不喜欢平铺直叙。所以读后续写的冲突就体现了这种跌宕起伏，而最终的矛盾冲突会变为积极的正能量。
❖易错点
在续写过程中，应当体会原材料故事中的语言特点，从人物动作描写，场景描写，情感情绪描写，人物心理和神态外貌描写等方面进行润，提升语言表达的准确性，完成语言风格高契合度的短文。
典例剖析
【2022年高考浙江卷6 月】
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
I needed to do something in my community (社区) in order to complete the community service hours required to graduate from high school. Some of my friends had signed up to spend time at a soup kitchen, so I did, too. It seemed like a good thing to do.
I thought that we would just be passing out dinners to those in need, but I found out we would be doing
everything from preparing to serving the dinner. We began preparing the food, from mixing salad dressing to separating frozen meat. Much still needed to be done before dinner was served, but already outside the building many homeless people were gathering. It wasn’t until a couple of hours later that we opened the doors and began serving dinner.
As the line of people came toward me, I got a little scared. I’d come face to face with the hom eless: How should I act? How would they treat me? Would they hate me for having more than they did? While some of the people looked very friendly, some of them looked so dangerous. I didn’t have too much time to worry about it. I was assigned (分配) to serve the salad with the lady next to me. She smiled at me and said if I needed help, she’d be right there, which I found quite comforting.
I had never seen so many people wanting food. They were of all ages and nationalities. Most of them wore clothes that were torn and dirty. Some looked like they had tally given up on life, while others seemed to be making the best of the situation, smiling and joking. Some were better off than others, but they all needed a good meal and a warm place to eat. It saddened me t o think of how many people there were who didn’t have a place to call home and the only food they got came from a soup kitchen.
注意：
1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；
2. 至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；
3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；
4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Paragraph 1:
As they came in my direction, I put on my brightest and happiest smile. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________
Paragraph 2:
I was so happy that I had earned my service hours in this way.
____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________
第一步：故事情节构思：
Who: homeless people and me
Where: at a soup kitchen
When: when they began preparing the food for completing the community service
Why: Think of how many people there were who didn’t have a place to call home and the only food they got came from a soup kitchen
What: many homeless people were gathering before the shop opened
故事梗概：本文以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者为了完成高中毕业所需的社区服务时间，需要在所在的社区做点什么，作者去了施粥所，作者发现准备过程中要做的事情很多，作者看到无家可归的人靠近时心里有点害怕，但是却忙得没有时间去担心这些，作者看到了年龄和国籍各不相同的人，这让作者感到很难过。情节构思：无家可归的人笑——作者舀粥——无家可归的人感激——作者感悟——作者发出呼吁
第二步：第一段和第二段首句的衔接
1.由第一段首句内容“As they came in my direction, I put on my brightest and happiest smile.”可知，
第一段描写作者是怎么为无家可归者施粥。
2.由第二段首句内容“I was so happy that I had earned my service hours in this way.”可知，第二段描写
作者对这次社区服务的感悟。
高分手段  1
行为类
①倒：pour/decant
②意识到：realize that/be aware that
③③主张：urge sb. to do/advocate sb. to do
情绪类
①感谢：gratefully/thankfully
②急切的：anxious/eager
高分手段  2
[高分句型1] This experience made me realize that there are so many people in this world who need our help. (由that引导的宾语从句和who引导的定语从句)
[高分句型2] I will never forget the way they looked at me when they were given food. (由关系代词that引导的定语从句，省略了that和when引导的时间状语从句)
【满分范文】
As they came in my direction, I put on my brightest and happiest smile. I wanted to make them know th
at I was really anxious to help them. To my relief, they smiled politely back at me when they saw my smile, and I could see their exhaustion in their eyes. I wanted to know what they were going through and I was desperate to know what I could do for them.They nodded gratefully as I pushed my spoon into the pot and took a large spoonful and poured it into their bowls.
I was so happy that I had earned my service hours in this way. This experience made me realize that there are so many people in this world who need our help. It also made me realize that our small act of kindness can make them feel warm and make a great difference to them. I will never forget the way they looked at me when they were given food. I am anxious to urge the world to do everything possible to help those in need.