I had just poured my second cup of tea that morning and sat down to read the paper. From somewhere, an inner voice said, "Go see Jeff and bring him the chair to repair. Go right now."
it was such a strong need that I hurriedly dressed and carried a dinning-room chair to his door. Jeff was a neighbor who had lost his wife a while back, and he sometimes did minor repairs for me because he enjoyed working with his hands.
I knocked on his door and waited a while. I was about to walk away when he answered. He looked like he was far away in his thoughts. I felt awkward about upsetting him so early. I greeted him and then asked if he could repair my chair. He invited me inside. We sat in his living room. He looked very sad and not his usual self. He said he had had a stroke recently, and while he was home now, he still needed to attend physical treatment. He had to build his strength back up. I apologized for the chair and told him I would just bring it back home. He said to leave it.
We talked for a while. He said that, before I arrived, he was seriously sad. So, my visit stopped his darkness. I listened to how hard it had been since his wife passed and how much worse it was now since the stroke. The longer we talked, the more I saw his mood lighten.
After I left his home, I went to the supermarket and gathered ingredients. I made him a hot meal I thought he would like. Carefully, I cut up vegetables and prepared stew(炖菜) for him. I believe it was the best stew I ever made. I made homemade biscuits and prepared fresh fruit for dessert. I realize there might have been halthier food, but I thought a hot meal would lift his spirits. I dropped it off for him. He was glad that someone cared. Emotionally, he seemed in a better place.
注意:
1. 续写词数应为100左右;
2. 至少使用4个短文中标有下划线关键词语;
3. 续写一段,开头语已为你写好;
4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
About a week later, he knocked on my door. ___________________________________
文本分析
01Read for vocabulary
2.2 did minor repairs
小的
3.4 have a stroke
中风
4.3 ... I saw his mood lighten
(使情绪、气氛)变得轻松;(脸或表情)变得高兴
5.1 gather ingredients
成分;食材
5.4 lift one's spirits
提升某人的情绪
5.5 in a better place
处境更好
02Read for appreciation
3.1 I was about to walk away when he answered.
be about to do ... when ...正要做某事突然...
3.4 ... and while he was home now, he still needed to attend physical treatment.
while此处意为“尽管”
4.3 The longer we talked, the more I saw his mood lighten.
The longer ... the more ...越长...就越多
狗年是哪一年03Read for plots
写作·分析
ANALYSIS OF WRITING TECHNIQUES
01运用“三条线索”推导,丰富故事情节
在构思情节时,借助人物线、地点线和情感线三条线索,并结合要求中100词的词数限制,对续写故事情节进行推导。
01人物线
I
纳西族简介Jeff(my neighbor)
原文本中出现的人物只有两人,因此续写情节中就是两人的互动。
02地点线
my house
Jeff's house
supermarket
从续写文本推测,故事应该发生在我的家里。我和邻居
国际和平日03情感线
根据人物线的推导,确定故事发生的主要人物和基本情节(本文为我和邻居Jeff的互动交流),并据此将合理的情感表达融入故事情节中。
情节一:我应门。Jeff手里拿着修好的椅子和一些食材,心情愉悦地问我是否可以再为他烧一次炖菜。
情节二:我欣然答应,并为了让他记忆犹新,加上了上次给他吃过的水果和饼干。
情节三:我们交谈,我发现我的小小善举,竟然让他发生了如此大的变化。
04挖掘原文本的信息增强衔接
衔接一:原文本第三段中提及Jeff让我把坏了的椅子留下,所以续写文本中Jeff来拜访我时一定会带着修好的椅子来。
衔接二:原文本中提及Jeff丧妻且自己中风,心情一直不好,结局可以点出我对他的小小善举让他的心情发生了天翻地覆的变化。
为了在情节合理的基础上使文本词汇和句法结构运用的更加高级,需有意识的加入人物的情感描写和动作描写,这样才能把高级句式结构充分发挥出来。
下水范文
续写情节展示
About a week later, he knocked on my door. I answered the door and saw him holding my repaired chair in one hand and some ingredients in the other. "I can't forget the stew you made for me last time. Could you do it for me again?" asked Jeff, his eyes dancing with merriment. "By all means!" I replied and set the repaired chair aside, taking the ingredients to the kitchen to make the stew. In order to impress him, I even prepared fresh fruit and homemade biscuits for him. Over the meal, we talked so much that it was impossible to tell he was widowed and had suffered a stroke. It turns out that a small kindness can indeed make a big difference to a person! (118 words)
死神图片译文
大约一周之后,他来我家敲门了。我开了门,看见他一只手里拿着修好的椅子,另一只手上提着一些食材,心情愉悦地问我:“我忘不了上次你为我做的炖菜。能再为我做一次吗?”“当然!”我把修好的椅子放在旁边,并接过他手上的食材,到厨房准备炖菜。为了让他记忆犹新,我还特地为他准备了新鲜水果和自制饼干。餐桌上,我们侃侃而谈,完全看不出他是个丧偶和得过中风的人。原来,小小的善意对一个人的影响竟然如此之大!
下水范文解析ANALYSIS解析
利用各种高级表达提升语言的丰富性:
1...., his eyes dancing with merriment.
运用了无灵主语+独立主格结构。
2.by all means
当然。
3. over the meal
吃饭的时候。
4. a small kindness can indeed make a big difference to
小小的善举会产生大大的影响,运用small和big形成鲜明的对比。
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