刚才在搜狐英语学习论坛上，看到“莫倾城”友的⼀个帖⼦，介绍他⾃⼰翻译的苏轼《江城⼦·⼄卯正⽉⼆⼗⽇夜记梦》。⾸先我必须指出，中国古代诗歌的英译，是⼀件⾼难度的⼯作，翻译者必须具备古代汉语、英语、诗歌、⾳韵等多⽅⾯造诣。坦率地讲，我本⼈远远没有达到这种⽔平，⽽且据我观察，在国内⼏个主要英语学习论坛上，能达到这种⽔平的⼈，也很少很少，所以我⾸先向这位友表达我的钦佩之情。
但是另⼀⽅⾯，我认为“莫倾城”友的译⽂有两个明显缺点，这种缺点即使是英语⽔平不⾼的⼈，也可以很容易地看出来，这就是：第⼀，英语译⽂过分拘泥于汉语原⽂，原⽂中的每个汉字，⼏乎都有对应的英语单词，因⽽英语译⽂显得⽐较冗长；第⼆，英语译⽂中的某些单词，过于正式，不适合在诗歌中使⽤，⽐如ignorant、recognize、presume等，因⽽⽂字风格显得有些不协调。我想在这⾥推荐美国汉学家Burton Watson翻译的这⾸古词，您可以⽐较⼀下，他的译⽂⽐较简练，风格也⽐较统⼀。
汉语原⽂：
⼗年⽣死两茫茫，不思量，⾃难忘。千⾥孤坟，⽆处话凄凉。纵使相逢应不识，尘满⾯，鬓如霜。
夜来幽梦忽还乡，⼩轩窗，正梳妆。相顾⽆⾔，唯有泪千⾏。料得年年肠断处，明⽉夜，短松冈。
莫倾城的译⽂：
For ten years the living and the dead are both ignorant of each other.
Even though I refrain from thinking of you,
However I cannot forget you.
Your lonely tomb lies a thousand miles away,
Where can I pour my sorrows anyway?
Even if we meet again, you can hardly recognize me by the way,
For my face is fully covered with dust,
And my temples have as frost turned grey.
Last night I suddenly dreamed of returing to my native land.
I saw you sitting by the tiny window,
Dressing and making up with your white hand.
We looked at each other, unable to speak a word,
Only a thousand lines of tears rolled down our faces.
I presume you will lie in that heartbreaking place year after year,
In that small round covered with pines mere,
Under the moon bright and clear.
美国汉学家Burton Watson的译⽂：
Ten years, dead and living dim and draw apart.
I don't try to remember,
But forgetting is hard.
Lonely grave a thousand miles off,
Cold thoughts, where can I talk them out?
Even if we met, you wouldn't know me,
Dust on my face,
Hair like frost.
In a dream last night suddenly I was home.
By the window of the little room,
You were combing your hair and making up.
You turned and looked, not speaking,
Only lines of tears coursing down.
Year after year will it break my heart?
The moonlit grave,
The stubby pines.
这个帖⼦发表之后⼤约半个⼩时，“莫倾城”友给我发来邮件，对我的帖⼦表⽰感谢。出乎我预料的是，
莫⽼弟竟然是⼀个19岁的⾼中⽣，真是令⼈难以置信！不过，也有友给我留⾔，认为莫⽼弟的译⽂太幼稚，⽽且存在语法错误。当然，我承认莫⽼弟的译⽂确实有⼀些缺点，但我觉得⼀个19岁的⾼中⽣，能够达到这种⽔平，已经很不容易了，我们应当持⼀种包容、⿎励的⼼态。江城子翻译
发布评论